


Last Regrets

by Spooky66



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Cancer Arc, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9656753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spooky66/pseuds/Spooky66
Summary: As Scully is dying of cancer Mulder finds a note intended for him after her death.





	

Scully was asleep when he got to her room. She looked gaunt and exhausted; it pained him to see her this way.  
She predicted yesterday that she only had a couple weeks left. He’d had to excuse himself because of the vomit that began to rise at her words and they had haunted him ever since.  
Mulder sat down next to the bed prepared to keep the same all night vigil he’d been keeping for a few days after work.  
On the table next to her bed there was a journal and a stack of notes that had the names of friends and family on them. Mulder felt sick again when he realized what the notes were. A morbid curiosity came over him when he saw a note with his name on it. It was long and he wondered what she could have to say that would take so many pages.  
He looked up at her sleeping figure and watched her until he was sure she was in a deep sleep.  
Quietly, he leaned forward and took hold of the folded sheets of paper.  
He felt guilty at this invasion of privacy but his curiosity won over. Mulder had felt an undeniable urge as of late to know her feelings toward him and he knew the letter held the key.  
He decided he would only read a small section randomly but he couldn’t help but scan a bit. Much of it was similar to what he’d read in her journal when she first was diagnosed but he came to a section that caught his attention and he stopped scanning to read it.  
It read: 

_In life I have not found the courage to truly expose my heart and soul to you. You are the keeper of my heart and in life or death it will always belong to you. I’ve loved you more dearly and passionately than I’ve ever loved. I trust you with my life and my heart. My biggest regret as I move on from this life is that I never could tell you all of this. I hate that I never will feel your lips on mine or wake up to the sound of your heartbeat. I’ve considered telling you in the past months but it would be unfair of me to bring this to you when I am on borrowed time.  
I hope that you can forgive me and take comfort in knowing that you will be in my final thoughts. You’ve made my life worth living these past years and have given me a propose and I will never be able to repay that. _

 

Tears clouded his vision and one fell on the paper. He was startled as cold fingers took his hand.  
“You’re cheating.” Scully said in a raspy voice.  
He looked up at her, too choked with emotion to be embarrassed.  
She gave a small, sad, smile to show that she wasn’t angry.  
“Sorry. I-I couldn’t resist.” Mulder said as he folded the notes quickly and put them back, “I only scanned it really.”  
She searched his eyes and reached out further to cup his cheek. Her hand was icy but he leaned into it and covered it with his own.  
“Scully… I love you so much. You can’t leave me.” His eyes were closed and he held her hand tighter. He couldn’t look at her face to see whatever emotions were surly flitting across it.  
“Come here.” Her voice was soft and her hand pulled him closer. She was scooting over in her bed with great effort and motioned for him to sit.  
He sat on the very edge until she pulled him back lightly to recline next to her.  
“I’m sorry I couldn’t say those things till now Mulder. I didn’t know how, I was afraid.” She pulled his face closer and rested her forehead against his.  
Mulder reached out and stroked her cheek.  
Slowly they moved toward each other until their lips touched lightly. What was at first a gentle peck soon became desperate. Their lips moved against each other as if they were always meant to be kissing.  
When Scully became short of breath Mulder pulled away quickly in fear of hurting her. She pulled him back as soon as she regained her breath.  
They kissed for what felt like an eternity but was probably only a few minutes. When they finally pulled away Scully rested her head on his chest, “I will have one less regret now.”  
Mulder hushed her and kissed the top of her head, “Don’t talk like that.”  
She held tighter to him and buried her face in his chest, inhaling his scent. Within a few minutes she was sound asleep.  
Mulder knew he would stay by her side until she woke up. He thought, perhaps, that he could fulfill at least one more of her wishes: to wake up to his heartbeat. A heart that beat only for her.


End file.
